all that howl

2.05.2010

2.03.2010

Razzie noms!

Here are the highlights:

WORST PICTURE OF 2009
"All About Steve"
"G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra"
"Land of the Lost"
"Old Dogs""
"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" (a.k.a. "Trannies, Too")

WORST ACTOR OF 2009
All Three Jonas Brothers, "Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience"
Will Ferrell, "Land of the Lost"
Steve Martin, "Pink Panther 2"
Eddie Murphy, "Imagine That"
John Travolta, "Old Dogs"

WORST ACTRESS Of 2009
Beyonce, "Obsessed"
Sandra Bullock, "All About Steve"
Myley Cyrus, "Hannah Montana: The Movie"
Megan Fox, "Jennifer’s Body" and "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"
Sarah Jessica Parker, "Did You Hear About the Morgans?"

"John Wilson, Razzie president and founder, tells Gold Derby that "Transformers 2" creator Michael Bay is overdue for Razzie glory after a past worst-picture loss for "Armageddon" (1998) and two defeats for worst director: "Armageddon" and "Pearl Harbor" (2001). "Bay is totally talent-free and untouched by the muse," Wilson says with a sigh."

[source: LA Times]

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1.27.2010

Frantic Jobs Up All Night Designing Apple Tablet

Claiming that he completely forgot about the much-hyped electronic device until the last minute, a frantic Steve Jobs reportedly stayed up all night Tuesday in a desperate effort to design Apple's new tablet computer. "Come on, Steve, just think—think, dammit—you're running out of time," the exhausted CEO said as he glued nine separate iPhones to the back of a plastic cafeteria tray. "Okay, yeah, this will work. This will definitely work. Just need to write 'tablet' on this little strip of masking tape here and I'm golden. Oh, come on, you piece of shit! Just stick already!" Middle-of-the-night sources reported that Jobs then began work on double-spacing his Keynote presentation and increasing the font size to make it appear longer.

[source: The Onion]

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1.21.2010

Say it ain't so! R.I.P. Air America

Liberal talk radio network Air America is planning to file for Chapter 7 bankruptcy, the company said Thursday.

"The very difficult economic environment has had a significant impact on Air America's business," according to a statement on the network's Web site. It cited a "perfect storm" in the media industry and plummeting advertising revenues.

The statement went on to say that the company's debt was piling up as its credit lines shrank.

Rush Limbaugh averages 13.5 million listeners. Nice try, Franken! You don't get ears if you don't get addicted to OTC meds, call the Commander-in-Chief "Barack the Magic Negro," and/or physically make fun of Parkinson's sufferers!

ELSEWHERE: Ten former child stars you'd sleep with today.

[source: CNN]

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1.16.2010

In the year 2000...

"Conan: it's yours. See you in five years, buddy!"
Jay Leno, 2004

Gawker has the un-embeddable video (ATH would have nice things too, if we didn't keep throwing keggers in the office). Here's the meat:

When I took this show over there was a lot of animosity between me and Dave and who's going to get it, and quite frankly a lot of good friendships were permanently damaged and I don't want to see anybody have to go through that again. You know, this show is like a dynasty-you hold it and then you hand it off to the next person and I don't want to see all the fighting and all the who's better and nasty things back and forth in the press so right now, here it is, Conan it's yours. See you in five years, buddy.

[source: Gawker]

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